Breathing Loving Awareness
Breathing Loving Awareness: A Practice for Emotional Healing
In the chaos of daily life, it’s easy to ignore the signals our bodies are sending us. A tight chest. A lump in the throat. A fire in the belly that just won’t settle. These aren’t just symptoms, they’re messages. And if we don’t listen, they don’t disappear. They embed themselves deeper, shaping how we think, behave, and relate to others.
That’s why I created a practice called Breathing Loving Awareness, which is now available on Insight Timer. It’s something I’ve used for years in my own healing, and now guide almost every one of my clients through. Because the results are real. Immediate. Grounding.
Let me walk you through what it is, why it works, and how to begin.
Why Do This Practice?
When we’re emotionally triggered, by a memory, an argument, or a moment of overwhelm, our bodies remember. Neuroscience now confirms what many of us have intuitively known: the nervous system stores experience. Bessel van der Kolk, a leading trauma researcher, calls this "the body keeping the score." Unprocessed emotions, unmet needs, and unresolved experiences live in us as sensations, until we learn to meet them with presence.
That presence is what this practice is about. Not fixing. Not analysing. Simply being with what is.
Across traditions and disciplines, this principle holds true:
In Buddhism, we practice Vipassana and Metta, insight and loving-kindness.
In somatic psychotherapy, we explore felt sense and co-regulation.
In neuroscience, we activate the ventral vagal state through slow, conscious breathing.
Each speaks to the same truth: awareness, when paired with compassion, heals.
How It Works
Start in a safe, quiet place. Ground yourself. Choose something emotionally relevant but not overwhelming, a recent argument, a moment of shame, or a lingering unease.
Take a few deep breaths. Feel your body. Bring the memory to mind and notice where you feel it. Is it in your chest? Your belly? Your throat?
The practice from here is simple, but profound:
Locate the sensation. Tune in to it with curiosity, like you’d listen to a child asking for help.
Breathe into it. Imagine your breath flowing into and out from the centre of that feeling.
Relate to it kindly. Like holding a baby who is upset, bring warmth, patience, and love.
Stay present. If images, thoughts, or memories arise, let them come. Keep returning to the body.
Inquire gently. You might ask, “What do you need?” or “What are you trying to tell me?”
Your goal isn’t to change or get rid of the sensation. Just to meet it. To be the one who stays. That’s what we needed as children. That’s what heals us now.
The Science Behind It
This isn’t just emotional work. It’s physiological. Breath awareness regulates the autonomic nervous system, calming the amygdala and strengthening the prefrontal cortex. That’s the part of your brain responsible for emotional regulation and decision-making.
Through slow breathing, we stimulate the vagus nerve, which tells the body, you’re safe now. According to Polyvagal Theory (Stephen Porges), this brings us into a state of social engagement, where connection and healing become possible.
The Psychology of Self-Compassion
In therapy, this process is known as re-parenting or attachment repair. When we bring presence and care to a hurt part of ourselves, we’re creating what psychologist Dan Siegel calls a "secure attachment with the self."
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy sees these parts as inner children or protectors. When we breathe with them, listen to them, and offer them kindness, they begin to relax. And our true self, calm, curious, connected, comes forward.
Dr. Kristin Neff’s research on self-compassion shows that this kind of inner relating reduces anxiety, shame, and emotional reactivity. In other words, loving awareness doesn’t just feel good. It changes you.
From Buddhism to Breath
The Buddha taught that suffering arises from clinging and aversion. But there’s a third option: to be with what is. In Metta meditation, we offer loving-kindness to ourselves and others, even to the parts of us that hurt.
What we’re doing in this practice is a modern expression of that. We're meeting pain with tenderness. We're learning not to abandon ourselves.
Completing the Cycle
When you feel the cycle is complete, either because the emotion has softened, or you’ve gone as deep as you safely can for now, thank the part of you that showed up. Place a hand on your body. Offer a simple message: "I'm here. I see you. I'm not going anywhere."
Then slowly ground yourself. Take a few deep breaths. Stretch. Rub your hands together. Open your eyes. Come back to the room.
You can finish here, or journal what you discovered. Speak it aloud. Or take it to a therapist or trusted friend.
The Invitation
Whether we approach this from neuroscience, Buddhism, or psychotherapy, the message is the same:
Your emotions are not a problem.
Your body knows what it needs.
Your breath is a way home.
When we meet ourselves with loving awareness, we don’t just process pain. We build trust with ourselves. We strengthen presence. We reclaim our power.
You can listen to the guided meditation on Insight Timerhere.
